Pastor Matthew Winters

Transparency from the heart of a pastor

The Gift (?) of Discernment

Are you a good judge of character?

I feel like I’m having dejavu here as I either wrote or had a recent conversation about this very subject. As a people watcher, I have studied behavior carefully since I was a small boy. Now that I am older, I see it has paid off. Throw into it a God-given gift of discernment, and I find myself to be a fairly decent judge of character.

Do I get it wrong sometimes? Yes! I’m a flawed human being. While I mean well, I can get it wrong from time to time.

I tend to see the issues before most of those around me. They often label me as judgmental, negative, or critical. It’s okay. I’ve worn the label long enough now that it doesn’t bother me like it once did.

While I will not disclose times when I’ve gotten it right (which I feel like I have done recently), I would love to know your stories. Comment below.

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4 responses to “The Gift (?) of Discernment”

  1. Sam Avatar
    Sam

    I feel the same. And, honestly, judging someone’s character is extremely important to survive in this world, or people tend to get used and taken advantage of. I am still learning this skill and in the world of business, it has massive payoffs.

    Reply
    1. Matthew Winters Avatar
      Matthew Winters

      This is an absolute necessity! I’m glad you see the value of it.

      Reply
  2. Gary Avatar
    Gary

    It’s important to be able to discern a person’s character is possible and it’s not always easy. One of the interesting things I have learned is that people tend to judge someone by the first time they meet them and the first 30 seconds. Further research has shown that for some people that judgment happens even sooner. I remember meeting someone who I judged to be a blabbermouth during the meeting. Since I was aware of this human tendency I decided to hold off my final verdict until actually getting to know them a little more. There are more encounters and times past and this individual was no longer talking incessantly and dominating conversations. I noticed that and changed my impression of them. I read about this tendency in Psychology and the odds are that someone who forms an initial judgment of someone will retain that opinion even if they behave differently the next time they meet them and from that point on that first initial impression sticks with them. That’s an important thing to think about I think and I’m glad that my initial impression was wrong.

    Reply
    1. Matthew Winters Avatar
      Matthew Winters

      You make a really great point here! With my most recent church situation, there were players in this whom I misjudged in the beginning. My judgment was based on some past experiences that I allowed to cloud my judgment and discernment.

      Reply

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