What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?
The hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make were related to leaving ministries. Some of these moves involved God calling me to leave with no real Plan B. I always feared stepping outside God’s will, so I carried a huge emotional weight as these decisions were being made.
The first time was with the church that was paying my college tuition. We had some major philosophical and theological differences. The ministry ended with a tense conversation with the pastor and deacons, who agreed (at my initiation) that it was time for me to move on. I did not get to say goodbye to the church. The process was not handled well, so there was much hurt on all sides. I lived with that pain for quite a while.
The second move was when God called me to finish my education at a different college after finishing my junior year. We had to move out of the married dormitory, and God ultimately opened a door to a wonderful ministry where I helped for two years in their transition.
The third hardest decision was when I left a thriving ministry to take my first pastorate. We were so well loved, and my whole family grieved stepping from that into a ministry that was challenging and short-lived. Everything fell apart…another story for another time.
The fourth hardest decision was leaving a ministry I had only served for less than 8 months. The pastor was a dear friend, and the people were wonderful to me. I could not understand what God was doing, but I knew this was what had to happen.
The last difficult decision was leaving my most recent pastorate. The people were the sweetest I’ve ever served. They loved me and my family well. It was a struggling church, and I had prayed for that church and those people like I had never prayed before. I wanted to be the pastor to lead them to higher ground, but God moved me away. I was already grieving the passing of my mother, now I had to grieve this separation too.
Parting really is such sweet sorrow. Four states. Over a dozen congregations. When you invest yourself so deeply into something, walking away is not easy. Yes, you typically have a new calling elsewhere, but the emotions are still all too real and deep. You pray for the best for the people as someone new will step in to lead. Your prayer is that things will only get better from here.
Life is full of difficult decisions. I would dare say most of you have faced much more daunting decisions. You have had to make the tough call to remove a loved one from life support. The doctor gave you a diagnosis, and you are faced with which treatment path to take, not to mention actually going through the treatment itself. These decisions expose our fears while calling the courage out of us.
Maybe you’re facing difficult decisions now, and the fear of failure is what is stopping you. Great opportunities are ahead, but you are afraid of taking risks. Ask God what He wants for you. He will not call you to something for which He will not equip you. Put on your spiritual armor and face it valiantly. I believe in you!
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