Transparency from the heart of a pastor

Back to My Roots

When I was in high school, I had a pretty good idea that I was called to ministry. Because of the criticism from peers in a Christian school, I decided to fight it. I was determined I would chase musical dreams and become a high school band director. When God hit me head on about my call to ministry, I assumed it would be to pastor. I enjoyed preaching, so it made sense. After a surrender to what I thought was a call to preach, God kept me in music ministry. I did not pastor for nearly 15 years after that.

When I finally made it to the pastorate, I realized how difficult it is to be the first man. Honestly, I was it. I had no secretary. The only staff I had was my soon-to-be ex-wife as the youth director. I assumed my struggle as a lead pastor was due to the issues at home. After a failed attempt a few years later at a church plant and a pastorate that paved the way for a merge (a lesson that took me 10 years to learn), I discovered my call is to serve in associate roles, primarily in musical situations that lend to my calling and giftedness.

Last year, God moved me from my last pastorate to an interim worship role. In the last year, God reignited my passion for music ministry. Last week, God opened a permanent door for me to serve as a worship leader. It is also here in upstate SC, so I’m thrilled. The personality of the church and the style of music are a good fit. The people of the church are eager to move forward, and I’m excited about co-laboring with them to lift Jesus high in song.

The call of God isn’t as narrow as we make it. Back in the day, church people only thought a call meant preaching. God has many gifts and callings upon the life of a believer. I mistook my preaching and teaching gifts with that of a lead pastor. While I also do well with the chaplain nature of the pastorate, I don’t do well being the lead guy who oversees all the ministries and takes the fall when the church isn’t thriving.

I also shied away from music ministry because I don’t have a music degree. That’s a big deal for some churches. I felt inadequate to a degree. While I have training and good endorsements from people who are proficient in music, I still felt inadequate. I have officially refused to feel that way anymore. While I may not be what some churches are looking for, my gifts are adequate to help other churches. There is beauty and freedom in being content with that.

Please pray for me as I will start this role in the coming weeks. I want to transition well from the current church and begin well at the new church. While I will miss the good folks where I am, I look forward to a new place of service.

11 responses to “Back to My Roots”

  1. Praise be to God!

    “God opened a permanent door for me to serve as a worship leader.”

  2. You’re not the only one that’s mistaken callings and giftings and has taken various routes and detours Matthew. As you know, what’s important is that you’re where the Lord wants you at now. ✝️🕊

  3. “speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord”—Ephesians 5:19

  4. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”—Colossians 3:16

  5. Matthew, The Lord is going to have me move on, that is stop, blogging by the end of this month in order to focus on other things. I’ve written what He wanted me write on His behalf. You can still contact or converse with me at: BJW_1978@protonmail.com. In Christ, Brian

    1. Brian, thanks for the update! It’s always sad to see Christian bloggers go. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me either: matthewwinters1980@gmail.com.

  6. Congrats! I know you’ll do great. I found your statement about having a calling relatable. I feel my calling is writing, although I’m not able to do it in my daily job, I still feels like what I’m supposed to do. That,and care for animals.

    1. I get that about writing. It has been a passion for years, and I’m determined to publish a book in the next 5-10 years.

      Thanks for the congratulations! I’m excited about officially returning to permanent music ministry. I have assisted a church for the last year that has been in some major transition. They have a choir and small orchestra. The new church will be a bit smaller, but I can already tell this is a great group that is eager to move forward.

  7. I think that’s a fabulous goal to publish a book in 5 to 10 years. It gives you enough time to plan and figure out how to get it done without rushing it.

    You’re welcome! A small church sounds like the perfect place to start at your first official returning role to the permanent music ministry.

    1. One thing I’ve learned – I tried to rush God on some things, and it set me back about 10 years. His timing and ways are best!

      1. I agree with you 100%. We can’t know the reason or the logic of why something isn’t working the way we want to, until years later we are shown. We want to rush things, but that’s just not the way it works. My mom always used to remind me of that, “Everything happens in God’s time Amy, not yours.”

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