Yesterday, I was pondering the date. It was November 25. Then it dawned on me that I passed right by the 24th without giving it a thought. I began to consider even more how I passed another date last month and gave it little to no thought. For the last six years, that has not been the case. Those dates had served as a horrible reminder.
I would say that many of you are struggling with that same thing. You remember the anniversary of a death, a divorce, or other traumatic event in your life. The calendar has a way of excavating the pain, and you relive it once again.
Grief has no timetable. We often try to shortcut the grieving process, only to add insult to the injury already present. For me, I tried to shortcut it because I was worried about what others thought. I have no doubt that many were thinking, “I don’t know why Matthew is still struggling. It’s been long enough. He should have it together by now.” Let me remind you of this – People are going to think what they want to think, so ignore it and sort through the pain in your heart, however long it takes!
Let me close with these lyrics from the song “God and Time” recorded by Newsong. While this song begins speaking of a death, other parts of the song can apply to your painful situation. I pray these words minister to you.
I know you wished that you had been there to say goodbye
I know you wished that you could turn back, the hands of time
I know the pain of loss you’re feelin’ is almost more than you can bear
But let me give you hope in your despair
Only God can truly understand how His healing works
And how He uses time in our lives, to overcome our hurts
But one thing you can be sure of, He is not surprised
By anything that happens in your life,
Oh I know this side of heaven we may never understand
But we can trust the heart of God and know we’re always in His hands
All you need is God and time to heal your broken heart
God and time, to lift you up from where you are
I don’t have all the answers, to all your questions why
All I know is all you really need is God and time