Honest Thoughts from a Pastor

What’s your love language? You might find that to be a strange question. If you are new to church culture or haven’t spent time in certain parts of church culture, the concept of a love language may be foreign to you. Dr. Gary Chapman, Christian psychologist, wrote the book The Five Love Languages. It is a great book about how love is best expressed to you either in the form of giving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, or quality time. Click here to take the quiz. My primary love language is words of affirmation. Here is what I have learned about myself in relation to my love language:

I love receiving words of affirmation. The more I receive these words of affirmation, the happier I am.

Because I love receiving words of affirmation, I have been known to go overboard in extending them. It can be especially bothersome to those whose love language is not words of affirmation.

When I don’t receive words of affirmation, my tank gets empty and I feel unloved and unwanted.

I have to work hard to keep pride at bay when words of affirmation flow freely to me.

Words of correction and criticism can feel like a death sentence. Because I love being affirmed, I can easily take the opposite too personally.

This post is not intended to cover the five love languages but rather to give you a glimpse into one from my personal experience and allow those whose primary love language is words of affirmation to connect with this. I highly encourage you to check out the link above. Better yet, get the book. Read it in order to learn about yourself and your spouse so you can effectively speak his or her language. It will also help you in relating to others close to you. Here’s to learning how to love more effectively!