What is your favorite season of year? Why?
My favorite season of the year is Fall. Because I don’t like cold or hot, Winter and Summer are out for me. Give me a time of year when there is a cool breeze and the beauty of the day is strangely found in what is dying. Have you thought about that? The beautiful colors of Fall shine as the leaves are dying and are about to fall from the trees. I have seen this all too frequently in a human’s life too.
When I was a hospice chaplain, I cannot tell you how many times I was present in a patient’s final days, sometimes even hours and minutes. When you got to know the patient’s story, you got a glimpse very similar to the beauty of Fall. I was able to see that with my mother.
My mom had always been afraid of death, specifically being alone when that time would come. In her last two weeks, she was on a ventilator for the first four days. When she came off the ventilator, so much was still uncertain. The doctors had confirmed a massive heart attack and were speculating multiple strokes. They never said for sure until the medical director had the hospice talk with us one week in. When the doctor turned to ask my mother if she understood what he said, her response was, “I did, and I’m ready to die. I know where I’m going.” While the moment wasn’t easy, it became easier when she demonstrated unprecedented courage when facing fatal news.
During the next week, my mom displayed the beauty of Fall. As she made her way from this life to life eternal, she shined like never before. She conducted her last days in the same quiet way she had conducted the rest of her life. The difference was it wasn’t dominated by anxiety, depression, and mental illness. Peace was the reigning theme.
On Wednesday night, January 11, 2023, I suspected she would ease out. I saw some slight changes in her breathing patterns. The hospice nurse saw it very slightly, but it was nothing to be of concern at that moment. I chose to stay through the night. When Mom was awake for the last time, the nurse said, “Matthew’s here. He’s been here all night.” Minutes later, she fell asleep and woke up in the Lord’s presence almost 24 hours later. I believe Mom needed to hear that I was there so she would relax and make her way into eternal life.
I left that Thursday night around 9:30 pm. The nurses did not believe she would pass away that night, and I honestly thought she would go sometime the next day. At 3:50 am on Friday, I received the call. It was the moment I had been bracing myself for since she went on the ventilator – the moment I knew was inevitable. Mom was with Jesus!
When I walked into the hospice room, I saw a look on her face that I haven’t seen in years. It was the look of joy – true, pure joy! I had seen that look when she was enjoying the presence of family, but it was magnified. I no longer saw the agony of physical or emotional pain. There was a peace that radiated. It was as if her face had altered when she entered the portals of glory to leave the pain and sorrow of this wicked world behind.
Fall is my favorite. Even in death, there can be beauty. Not to mention, all things pumpkin are on the menu, and I fight not to overindulge. In just a few months, I’ll tell you exactly where you will find me – driving through the mountains when the leaves are in all their glory or near the pumpkin donuts. If I’m in my right mind, I’ll save you a few.
Honest Thoughts from a Pastor 
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