The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

Christmas has always considered magical by children and adults alike. Between the Hallmark movies and other means of commercialization (not to mention the song whose title is the same at this blog post), we have idealized this season into becoming something that isn’t always true. For some, this isn’t the most wonderful time of the year.

That was the case for me 9 years ago. I resigned my first pastorate on the Sunday before Thanksgiving (not what I had planned to do that day after only being 11 months in), and all hell bombarded me within 24 hours. Part of the reason I resigned was that my marriage of 13 years was coming to a close. My “most wonderful time of the year” turned into me packing up my wife at that time to move out of the parsonage, me a few weeks later packing my personal belongings to return to South Carolina, me quickly transitioning from pastor to nobody, our family becoming the talk of the town of 117 people, and me to returning to the lonely parsonage on Christmas night, wishing either the Rapture or death would take me that night. It took many years of healing before I would no longer hate this season. I didn’t hate Christ and the true meaning of Christmas, but the dates on the calendar reminded me of things in my life that died. I still shed tears during this season, but they are now tears from a grateful heart that I survived.

You may be reading this, and you can identify with the holiday pain. Maybe this season reminds you of loved ones who won’t be at the table for Christmas. Maybe it’s the pain of divorce or an estrangement from a family member. I would like to say some cliche things like “it gets easier” or “you’ll get over it”, but you won’t. It will become part of your story, and you will be able to help others and empathize with them in their pain.

I pray that you will share the sentiment I share – that Jesus is sweeter to you now than He has ever been. Even if this time isn’t so wonderful, God can give you grace in this journey. Please know that I am available to pray for you. You don’t have to walk this road along. Feel free to drop a comment below so I can be praying for you during this difficult time. That’s what the body of Christ is for!

Matthew Winters

December 19, 2022

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6 responses to “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?”

davidsdailydose

December 19, 2022 at 1:19 am

Your line about going from pastor to nobody overnight really resonates with me, brother. To this day, it’s difficult to go back to the churches where I served. The words divorced and minister aren’t supposed to go together. Perhaps it not quite the like the “Scarlet Letter,” but it’s pretty close–at least in my denomination.

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1. Matthew Winters
  
  December 19, 2022 at 11:19 pm
  
  It took years before a Baptistic, nondenominational church took its chance on calling me to be its pastor. In 2013, I had people immediately unfriend me on Facebook because I was no longer their hired hand. Most found it a lot more fun to gossip about the scandalous situation while less than a handful called to demonstrate compassion and concern for our broken family.
  
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Myheartscry

December 19, 2022 at 5:14 am

I agree. It’s a pretty hard time of year. I got through some pretty tough years focusing on Jesus, instead of being depressed about the loss of people I loved.

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1. Matthew Winters
  
  December 19, 2022 at 12:12 pm
  
  Jesus is the only One who can get us through. Anything/anyone else is a distraction.
  
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Agent X

December 19, 2022 at 10:05 pm

I don’t have my own personal Christmas season curse to kill the holiday vibe, BUT…

Your story of divorce, while significantly different from mine, is also significantly LIKE mine – enough to feel the gut punch when you tell yours.

Meanwhile, my cousin, whose mother is my aunt, shot himself to death in anger one Christmas Even several years ago with his own children in the next room. My aunt and uncle no longer celebrate Christmas at all. I hate even calling or saying anything to them in the days leading up to it. There’s just such a deep wound there that I cannot touch.

Finally, my wife’s sister, a mother of two herself, whose birthday is Christmas Eve, died in a tragic car wreck two years ago. We are still getting used to her empty seat at our family gatherings which usually are at my mother-in-law’s place. And we had to work so hard to separate her birthday from the holiday each year! Now they are both mourned together.

I feel ya.

Thanx for illuminating this silly season in another light. Pain at Christmas is legit.

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1. Matthew Winters
  
  December 19, 2022 at 11:16 pm
  
  I was reminded of the associated pain through one of my employees. She has been a widow for nearly 30 years, after losing her husband to a car accident. They never had children, and this is a difficult time for her. While she is a very spiritual person, that doesn’t negate the painful reminders of this time of year.
  
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