The Proper Way to Disagree

Let me just cut to the chase. If you disagree with someone, make it as public as possible, call them an idiot, and make them feel stupid for not seeing things your way.


How many of us are guilty of that? We immediately get on social media, let everyone know how angry we are with someone, and get as much attention as possible. Facebook is a great place for sympathy, right? 

Public places are not appropriate for private disputes. If my wife and I have an argument, I don’t tell anyone. My wife and I work it out. It’s no one else’s business but mine and my wife’s. 

Such disputes can do major damage to the cause of Christ. Several years ago, I came across a guy on the internet who called himself the “watchdog”. He was not a watchdog but was one of the things in Proverbs 6 that the Lord hates – “he who sows discord among the brethren”. His website was dedicated to bashing a preacher. I commented one day (a huge waste of energy that I can’t take back) and remarked about how unbelievers were probably reading this and wanting nothing to do with Christianity because of his hateful approach. I predicted that he would say that the real people doing damage to the cause of Christ were the pastor he bashed daily and those like him.

When approaching someone with whom you disagree, ask yourself how you would want to be confronted (the Golden Rule). The purpose is not about you being right. You and I can love those with whom we disagree (we’re kinda commanded to). I disagree with a lot of people, but I do my best to treat them with dignity and respect. I’ve always heard that you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. This approach may preserve your relationship and allow you to lead someone to faith in Christ one day. Think about that the next time you have a disagreement.

5 responses to “The Proper Way to Disagree”

  1. Dalton Theo Smith Avatar
    Dalton Theo Smith

    I also had a facebook fight with my own Pastor and felt awful afterwards. After that incident do not add comments on negative posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I try to make it a general rule to abstain from what could become a public fight. The world is watching.


  2. Amen, we definitely need to learn how to pick our battles. Some people are just itching to argue and not willing to listen. For those people we do best by simply praying for them more so than by confrontation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree. I especially find this on Twitter.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Amen! It’s after meeting and working with people like these which made me grateful I’m already a Believer – because they could never convince me to be one by their actions. How sad. Blessings back,

    Liked by 1 person

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